Best interview...!!!

Interviewer:  Tell me about yourself. Candidate:   I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology. Interviewer   : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before! Candidate:   Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it .. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya. Interviewer:   ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering. Candidate:   Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years. Interviewer:   But 4+2 is 6. Candidate:   Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it. Interviewer:   Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned. Candidate:   No, no... I am talking about Exams!! Interviewer:   Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?  Candidate:   Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative. Interviewer:   Do you have any plans of higher study? Candidate:   he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!! Interviewer:   Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked? Candidate:   Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai) Interviewer:   And which languages have you used? Candidate:   Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages. Interviewer:   Why VC is better than VB? Candidate:   It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD! Interviewer:   Do you know anything about Assembly Language?  Candidate:   Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly. Interviewer:   What is your general project experience? Candidate:   My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times they are in pipeline! Interviewer:   Can you tell me about your current job?  Candidate:   Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows. Interviewer:   Do you have any project management experience?  Candidate:   No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality' ,'versioncontrol ','deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes! Interviewer:   What are your expectations from our company?  Candidate:   Not much. 1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand. 2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent. 3. I believe in flexi-timings. 4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans. 5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork. 6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection? Interviewer:   he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS. The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in the HRD of Infosys.