Sardar is back......

SARDAR 007 IS BACK

In crorepathi...

Amitab : In which state Kavery flows?

Sardar : liquid state.....

Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......

 

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Sardar at bar in New York.

Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"

Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"

Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k

Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??

how much is DRIVING salary...?

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Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at

night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light

is not needed!!!

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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and

says, "chal", it walks.

He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.

He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion.......

....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

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Interviewer: what s ur qualification?

Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?

Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

 

Raj

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www.bangalorespice.com

Mail: blogger.rajeshdesk@gmail.com

 

Management Jokes

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of
them died.
 
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
 
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
 
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.
 
He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of
them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public
positions, etc.
 
Then why the differential treatment?
 
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before
a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived
notions.
 
 
 
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English
test.
 
PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.
 
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
 
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
 
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.
 
He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus
forced to fail with false intent.
 
 
 
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance
assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal
platform for all three).
 
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and
passes.
 
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
 
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."
Tough one. He fails again.
 
 
 
Laloo is extremely unhappy.
 
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history
 
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take
any more tests.
 
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He replied "1947" and
passed.
 
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".
 
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000
or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
 
It's Laloo's turn now.
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Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died
in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
 
Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE........

Raj

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Mail: blogger.rajeshdesk@gmail.com

 

lie detector Robot (Mindblowing!!!!!!)

One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face. Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?". Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today". Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face. His dad told him "Mone (son), This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, Why are you late?" "Dad I went for a movie", " Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" , Splat Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot. "No dad honest I went for the movie S-- Queen." Dad :"Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things." Splat , the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot. Hearing all this, Kuttappans mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "After all he is your son.......", to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan's mother's face.

 

Raj

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Mail: blogger.rajeshdesk@gmail.com

 

Brides searching for Software Bridegroom.....

 

A conversation about the process of selecting a software bridegroom….

Enjoy reading….
 
Vidhya: hey!  What is the matter you have called up all of a sudden?

Nithya : do u remember that my parents gave my horoscope, to search for a suitable match, to many people? So many horoscopes of the groom has come.. In that 4-5 seems to match.. I don’t know which one to select, I am confused because of it.
Vidhya:  what is the confusion about?
Nithya: horoscopes of many software engineers have come. It seems now a days, the software guys want to marry girls in the other field. That’s I why I don’t know whom I must select among this. You are a software engineer na pls give me some suggestion.
 
vidhya: not a problem at all. So tell me the position that each one holds.

nithya: first is a manager.

vidhya: manager?? Then he will showcast himself that he is busy always. But he will not do anything properly. He will get u 1 kg of rice and ask you to prepare for the whole area say a village. He will get you mutton and ask you to prepare chicken 65. Even if you protest telling you can’t make it, he’ll not accept. He will tell you to work hard day and night to prepare it. He will also tell he’ll provide you with the night cab. Even if you ask how can I prepare chicken 65 out of it by sitting day and night he will not accept.
 
nithya: ohh..so dangerous he is!! Then I must escape. Next is a test engineer.

vidhya: he is more dangerous than the other person. Whatever you do he will correctly tell only the fault in it. Even if you try to surprise him with 10 variety of food, he will tell the item which does not have salt in it. If you ask him “will you not at least tell that it is good”, he will reply back saying it is your duty to make it good so why must I tell that. He is sooo good …
.
Nithya: then a NO to him also. Next is the performance test engineer.

vidhya: he is another specimen.. Even if everything is good, he will ask why did it take this much time. If you take 10 minutes to make a coffee, he will question you asking why you have taken 10 min for a coffee which can be done within 5 min. Even if you say that he is talking about the instant coffee while you have made the filter coffee, he will not accept. The same will be with all the work you do. You must not think about this person if you want to do make up in your life !!!

Nithya: then! you mean to say that we should not marry software guys??

Vidhya: who said like that?? In software there is one more group. They are called the “developers” group. How much ever you hit them they will bear.

Nithya: then tell about them.

Vidhya: you don’t have to do anything. They will do everything themselves. If we sit back and just boost them it is enough. But the problem with them is- they will say “I  know it” whatever you ask them.
Even that is ok. They will bear how much ever you hit them but the condition is you must keep saying “you are too good” after hitting them every time.

Nithya: this is superb. Then we must search for this kind of a groom….

Raj

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