Kick start u r Morning with +ve Attitude..................

HOW TO START YOUR DY WITH A POSITIVE   ATTITUDE : 1. Open a new file in your PC . 2. Name it " Boss " 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN 5. Your  PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?" 6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly.... 7. Feel better?   HAVE A NICE DAY

 

 

 

Kabir Vani vs Software Engineer (ULTIMATE)

 

Kabir : Aisi baani boliye, man ka aapa khoye Auron ko sheetal kare, aaphi sheetal hoye	SE: Aisa presentation dijiye, man ka aapa khoye, Auron ko confuse kare, aaphi confuse hoye
Rahim : Rahiman dhaaga prem ka, mat todo chatkaye tode se fir jude na, jude gaanth pad jaaye	SE : SE confidence manager, mat todo chatkaye Project to barbaad hoye hi, appraisal mein waat lag jaye.
Kabir : Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein , Log Hanse Tu Roye Aise Karni Na Kari , Pache Hanse Sab roye	SE : Jab project aaye company mein, client hase hum roye, Aisi karni na kari , tu hase client roye...
Kabir: Dukh Mein Sumiran Sab Kare , Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye Jo Sukh Mein Sumiran Kare , Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye	SE: Rush hour mein kaam sab karen , routine mein kare na koye, jo routine mein sab kaam kare, to rush hour kaahe hoye.
Kabir : Pothhi padh padh jag mooya, pandit bhaya na koye, Dhai aakhar prem ka, padhe so pandit hoye	SE : Coding kar ar jag mooya, programmer bhaya na koye, Do shabd copy-paste ke, kare so programmer hoye.
Kabir : Chalati chakki dekh ke, diya Kabira roye, Do paatan ke beechmein, saabut bacha na koye	SE: Client aur manager ko dekhke, engineers saare roye, Deadline meet karne ke chakkar mein, saabut bacha na koye.
Kabir: Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat Kaleja Khaye Vaid Bichara Kya Kare , Kahan Tak Dawa Lagaye	SE: Deadline aisi dakini, man ka tension badhaaye, kaam itna ho sar par, time pe complete kaise ho paaye.

 

Singhh is KKinng : Sardar jokes....Enjoy

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar : Punjab ..
Boss : which part ?
Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in Punjab .

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car. /
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass..

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head.
Is
he crying?

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated... . drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India
Radio!

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE :
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child